In Matthew 14, the disciples find themselves exactly where Jesus has told them to be: in a boat in a storm. Amidst the raging waves, I imagine they can only see him coming by way of lightning. Except they don't know it's Jesus, because he's walking on water. In fact, they cry out he is a ghost. When he reveals his identity, Peter calls out to him that if it's really Jesus, to call Peter to step out onto the water as well. Jesus does. Peter goes to Jesus, but then he is hit with drowning doubts.
"But when he saw the the strong wind and waves, he was terrified and began to sink. "Save me Lord!" he shouted.
Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”
Matthew 14:30-31 (NLT)
I had a bad dream recently about a speaking event I had coming up. It was truthfully funny but the lingering feelings from it were real. Thoughts like “what am I thinking?” and “I can’t do this!” swirled in my mind and threatened every bit of peace and gumption I once held.
As if this scripture were spoken directly to me, I wanted to say, “but Lord, I do not doubt you! It is myself I doubt!” I imagine Peter felt these same sentiments that were lost in the gurgle of words as he thrashed in the water. Feeling much like I was drowning, I understood Peter. He did not question for one second that Jesus could walk on water—it’s just that he had a moment of panic at realizing he wasn’t capable.
When he saw the wind and waves he was up against, Peter forgot who stood with him. It's when we take our eyes off Jesus and dare to look down at our own two feet that it ignites a terrifying self-awareness that we should not be standing where we are. But doubting ourselves when we know we’ve been called is really ultimately doubting the Caller.
What Peter was called to do was impossible. Doesn't change the fact that he was he called.
It’s true. We cannot do it alone, but because of God’s gracious love and power, we are called to boldly go places no one ever thought we could. All for the sake of his glory. When we feel those familiar doubts creep in, we must resist the urge to look down and keep our eyes fixed on the God who has called us. In order to drown out doubt, we must keep going, trusting him every step of the way.
Questions to ask yourself today:
1). Where in your life do you feel the call to step out of the boat and into the unknown?
2). Write down the doubts threatening your peace. Are these based on your capabilities or God’s?
No matter where we feel called to go or do, let’s not lose sight of Jesus every step of the way. Let’s not let the fear of falling keep us from moving forward, building trusting faith with every choice to obey.
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