For two years my husband and I volunteered in youth at our church teaching a life group on Sunday mornings. We had the most fabulous class. I seriously loved and still love every single one of those kids. A little outside of the norm, we actually got to move up with them so we had the same group of students for two years in a row. They are now graduating which is crazy! I wish I could say I remember all of the lessons we talked about, but I had a newborn right in the middle of those two years, so clearly, I cannot. But I do remember one quite vividly. Maybe it was because I had to prepare it, so it stuck with me or maybe it’s because I’ve needed to carry with me over the years.
The pre-planned lesson was on encouragement. And one of the highlights said that people in leadership often don’t receive much—I would take that as far as to say that no one really does. The writer of the lesson made the point, in an effort of appealing to the high school age, that perhaps the captain of certain sports teams or dance teams or cheer leading squads don’t receive much encouragement. And the reason behind this is because: “someone else is telling them, right?” We assume when someone is good at something, they know it. But taking this mentality a step further, would mean that if everyone assumes someone else is encouraging them, no one actually is. It also implies that there could be too much encouragement, which I’m of the belief that this is impossible. He also pointed out that while, yes, this person may indeed be good at what they do, but it’s because they have worked so hard to be where they are which means this particular field of interest is very important to them. So perhaps this is the area in which they need encouragement the most.
I think we can take this same notion and apply it to any age. Motherhood for instance. Which of us actually thinks we are doing a good job? Maybe it’s the workplace and your boss never tells you when it’s a job well done. Or maybe it’s your spouse and you just want to feel appreciated by them. But in any area of life, encouragement can be hard to come by.
I think it’s important to point out that our worth, reasons for our work, or stepping out in faith have to come from God alone. Our obedience is important if no one ever tells us we did a good job. In fact, sometimes this is the very place we have the opportunity to really grow in obedience, because we cannot depend on human affirmation. However, this also cannot be an excuse for us to never give a word of encouragement to those who have impressed us, spoken a word into our lives, or to those we admire.
What exactly is encouragement and why is it so important? By definition, it is the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope. It’s to instill or fill someone with courage through our words. Listen to what scripture says about it.
“Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”
-Proverbs 16:24
“A person’s words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook.”
-Proverbs 18:4
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
-1 Thessalonians 5:11
Not only is encouragement sweet to the soul, healthy for the body, and like life-giving water, it’s something we are called to do as believers. The truth is, the world and the enemy and even our own selves will come up with all kinds of reasons for why we aren’t enough or aren’t getting it right or aren’t good enough. I think often times in our assumption that the other person knows what they are doing is good and worthy leads us to believe it’s unnecessary for us to say anything. But I think more often than not, this actually translate to them as the opposite. So, to combat those lies, we are to speak truth into each other’s lives over the things we truly believe about them. Jess Connolly put this so well in her book Take it Too Far. The whole point of the book is that if it’s a good thing, can we really take it too far? And on encouragement she writes,
“When we encourage, when we speak life, and we admonish those we’re close to, we’re standing between them and the literal enemy of their souls and testifying to God’s capacity and love for them.”
That description is so clear and powerful it has stuck with me as to why it is so important for us to do. And when it’s put that way, we realize why we miss it so much in our lives. Because the lies will not cease so neither should the instilling of hope and confidence.
With all of these reasons as to why we should, the question is this: why don’t we? I mean, although I hope this post proves to be helpful and enlightening in some way, you didn’t need this to tell you encouragement was good. So why don’t we do it? I think one reason could be that we think it will be too much—that we’ll come across as weird. I’ve felt this too, but on the flip side, I have never in my life received a form of encouragement from anyone that I took as weird and not uplifting. It was always life-giving no matter who it came from or what it was. And that’s got to mean something. In fact, it’s been contagious. Receiving encouragement and feeling its effects on my soul makes me want to give it as well. Likewise, when I feel like it’s missing from my life, feeling the absence of it has reinforced how important it is, making me want to instill hope in others. Perhaps another less noble reason we don’t give it freely is because deep down it will make us seem small. Perhaps we already feel inferior and giving someone else encouragement, especially when we do feel like they are good at what they’re doing, feels like it’s giving away a piece of our confidence in the process. Look, there’s room for everyone. Encouragement and self-confidence are precious because they’re important, but not because they are scarce. There’s plenty to go around, but we do have to construct it from our words. In addition, whenever I receive encouragement, no matter who it is, never do I think “well that person seems small or lacking.” On the contrary! I leave feeling joined to that person in spirit and they appear to obtain so much confidence because they were able to dole some out on me. Far from weak, they seem strong and sure to be able to give hope to me. Jess Connolly also writes,
“But we shouldn’t be scared to take it too far because we lose nothing in the process. With every word of encouragement spoken, we only validate and agree further with the truth God has written over our lives; we’re encouragers, we’re warriors, and we’re testifiers of truth. Let’s take it too far and encourage others often and with fervor.”
The absence of encouragement in our lives feels lonely. It can feel like no one sees our efforts or even worse, they see them but don't think they are good. With a global pandemic and shelter in place, we have the chance to feel even more isolated than before. Toilet paper, chicken breasts, and baby wipes may be hard to come by right now, but encouragement should not be. And while we can’t stand within 6 feet of each other, we can stand in the gap between lies and truth simply with our words. Masks may cover our mouths but they need not cover our message. Let’s take up this challenge to encourage each other because it’s good and it’s necessary, and because the people in our lives will flourish from it even in a quarantine.
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